Getting there

Looking back over the past several weeks it seems like a blur.

I'm not quite sure how we got here but August has arrived with it's unrelenting heat.  It feels as if summer has out worn its welcome.  I am ready for Fall.  For brisk air, crisp leaves and pumpkins on my porch.

Plus the arrival of pumpkins signals a very special boy turning two.   And the excitement of planning and celebrating this sweet soul makes me happy.   We love a good birthday party at the Balsley house.

________________________________________________

I'm not sure when it happened but over the past few days Brannon and I have both noted a difference in the rhythm of our house.....things are feeling less foreign and more familiar.

We have silently shifted into what I assume is the next phase of this process.   The shock and disbelief have faded and when the sadness comes we don't fight it anymore.  We let it wash over us - acknowledging it, respecting it. 

We are getting there.

Some days are easier than others.  Honestly, some of the hardest parts are trying to answer the questions of a little boy who is trying to understand all of this.

His latest inquiry caught both Brannon and I off guard - during dinner the other night out of the blue he says, 'Daddy, you are 29.  So when I am 29 will you die?'

It is hard.

But it is getting easier.

The road is long but we are beginning to get our bearings.

I can feel the change.  I can see my family shifting and it hurts but underneath all of this is growth.

"Experience: that most brutal of teachers, but you learn, my God you learn" - C.S. Lewis