Grief at four and a half

This beautiful boy asks such thoughtful questions.

Last night at bedtime he was asking for specifics about heaven.   How big are the TVs?  Are there enough basketballs for everyone to play?  How do those basketballs stay in the sky and not fall down and hit me in the head?

And then told me about his Granddaddy.  How his Granddaddy was silly, made him laugh, how they always did fun things together and how he loved him all the way to the moon.....and then he got quiet and asked a tough question.

'Mommy, will he really never come back?  Like not even in a hundred days?'

Not even in a hundred days.

He curled into me and cried a deep cry that shook his whole little body.

After a while he sat up and looked bewildered and says to me 'Whoa, what just happened?  It hurt in my heart and my eyes wouldn't stop crying, they wouldn't even listen to me - what was that?'

And I realized that this was a first.

Ben has cried when he stubbed his toe or when Austin takes his toys but he has never cried from his core before.

That my baby is grief and I am so sorry you two had to meet so soon.